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TotK Crucifixions. This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

In Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, our friendly forest sprites, the Koroks, have returned, much to the delight of long-time fans. Just like in the game's predecessor, Breath of the Wild, our hero Link is tasked with scouring the vast expanse of Hyrule, seeking out these elusive, leafy entities, and delivering their seeds to the ever-enthusiastic Hestu. With each seed, Hestu adds a little more music to his beloved maracas, rewarding Link with an extra weapon slot, all the while performing an endearing jig. It's a heartwarming sight, truly.

Bruh... (Photo Credit @rindoggydog via Twitter)



However, it seems that the latest chapter of the Zelda franchise has introduced a darker spin on these Korok puzzles. This time, Link is tasked with reuniting a pair of separated Korok friends. It sounds like a sweet endeavor, doesn't it? Who wouldn't want to help two estranged companions find each other again? Well, it turns out that a significant number of Tears of the Kingdom players have a different idea of what counts as 'fun'.

With the game's new Ultrahand ability, which empowers Link with the ability to grasp, shift, and twist objects (and yes, this includes Koroks), many players have taken to some rather... creative interpretations of the game. The mischief-makers in the Tears of the Kingdom community have started fusing these innocent Koroks into all manner of peculiar and often ridiculous objects.


BRUH...


From crafting homemade TotK crucifixions (you like that, Nintendo? lol) to attaching them to homemade rockets (perhaps a new space program has begun in Hyrule?), these mischievous players have even gone as far as spit-roasting these gentle spirits (which is both shocking and, honestly, a bit of a culinary mystery).



It seems that our dear Koroks, who only wanted to play a small part in saving Hyrule, are now at the mercy of some very naughty adventurers.



So, next time you pick up that controller, remember: Koroks have feelings too.



Maybe it's time we gave them a break and focused on defeating Ganon, huh? After all, we wouldn't want to be known as the generation that ruined it for everyone else, would we?


~ Smash

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